(Late Publishing)

Today marks day confinement N°50.

50 days of quarantine and self-isolation.

Pink Floyd song

I didn’t know that this would be possible.

It was a hard count.

I’m a solitary person, in general. I tend to live inside my head without complains. I entertain my soul with random thoughts, I make myself laugh even though nobody would qualify me by saying I’m funny. But let’s just say; I get my own sense of humour. If I’m down, I learned with time how to lift my mood and pick myself up. It’s simple, play music I like, dance in the room for a while and grab an enjoyable piece to read or even sleep. Sleeping helps regulating my mood.

Long story short; I’m a self-diagnosed introvert and I enjoy my own company very much.

I said a lot of Is, and Ryan Holiday is screaming in the back of my mind “Ego is the enemy”. But trust me, by no means I’m trying to be self-centred, I’m deliberately putting my cards on the table here. Opening up… You know.

So, here’s where brand new information starts off.

If one thing this whole COVID-19 world has taught me is that I’m very dependent on human interactions.

To really brighten up my mood, a dance wouldn’t cut it anymore. I’d call a friend and feel the familiarity of their voice.

To be happy, I FaceTime my parents and hear about their day.

To laugh, a brother phone call is for the rescue.

My sister on the other hand, makes sure she annoys me and sends me tiktok videos to embellish my days.

It took a whole team to help me keep sane. That’s the quarantine glow up. The distant calls, the constant messaging and the daily memes. The tweets, too.

You know how coffin guys strived to bring an ounce of happiness to funerals? Little did they know, they hopped us all on a funny ride during these tough times.

So, am I truthfully independent if I’m emotionally dependent on people surrounding me? This interrogation has been occupying my mind for the last few days.

Quarantine made me even question my introversion. From now, I’m no introvert, I’m just a human being trying to survive the day to day life. All resources, human and material can be used. It’s a mad world at the end, and I’m the only one filling my mattress at night. (ftm anyway)

stay safe.

Strange familiar. I am the wandering spirit that lingered on after my body shell.